found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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