just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
