saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
