Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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