She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
My breasts were aching with rage.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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