I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
