dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
