So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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