ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
