I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
