Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
She's the barista slut.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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