Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
