Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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