so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
mondays should just be called national damage control day
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
