When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
