i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
