I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
