We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
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