As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize