what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
