there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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