marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
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