have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
