wat bout pragnant strippers??
you traded sex for a burrito?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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