i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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