i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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