Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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