This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
