Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
