Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
