Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
