They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
