i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
