About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
How does one acquire holy water?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
