you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
3 2 1 whiskey
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Randomize
