every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
