youre lurking in front of me
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
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