Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
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