I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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