Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
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