yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
