I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
