idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize