i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
This is the prime rib incident all over again
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
