found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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