Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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