I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
