i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
