I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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