Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
40s are totally the cure
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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