OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
birth control should be required to get into college
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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