Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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