Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
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