We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
