Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
