if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
