Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
