I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
well most of my day revolves around power hour
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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