i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
