so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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