i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
We just shotgunned beers for America
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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