If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize