guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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