I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
