You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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