I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
