just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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