So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize