I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
